Online College = Retard Magnent

University of Phoenix's 2011 Valedictorian

I attended one of the most prestigious liberal-arts institutions in the country.   All of my closest friends attended the same type of universities, and two attended Ivy League institutions.  That immediately makes us better than anyone who attended a big, public state school, and makes us infinitely better than the fucking retards that chose to go to college using a goddamn internet connection. 

If private universities and Ivy League colleges attract the best of the best, then internet colleges definitely  attract the worst of the worst (left).  At least with a degree from a gigantic state school you can still eek out somewhat of a living.  With a "degree" from an online college you might as well just put a fucking bullet through your brain stem.  Seriously?  Online college.  It is bad enough you are fucking poor as shit, but to flaunt such poverty through the attainment of an online degree is quite the spectacle.

If you attended an online college (ie plopping your fat ass down in front of the monitor wearing nothing but your shit stained underwear) and you do not know you are worthless well you are more fucking retarded than I thought.  The only thing such a degree is good for is acquiring a job that entails you serving me my frys at the local McDonalds, handing me my dry cleaning, and washing my Benz.  You have no one to blame but yourself for being so damn retarded, ugly and poor.  You fuckers with an online degree just got dominated.  But I am sure you losers are used to that.