Dealing With The Homeless

When I was in college, there was always this group of three homeless people that would stand outside of the local bar when it closed, and beg for change.  We all fucking hated it because A) We have better things to do like getting more shit housed and getting balls deep in some freshman pussy.  And B) Homeless people are a bunch of dirty ass shits that should be beaten on the spot.

Now, like most civilized people,. when I see homeless people I just want to throw up.  Why are these animals even still trying to live?  All suicide crisis hot lines and centers should have the tag line: DON'T GIVE UP.  YOU ARE LOVED.  UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU ARE HOMELESS.  Huge billboards should be erected advocating for the mass deportation of homeless people in every major city in the United States.  But thanks to pussy ass liberals and hippies, this unfortunately will never happen.

So how can one effectivley deal with the homeless?  Well it's easy.  One, go up to them.  I know this may sound like a repulsive propostition to most, as it should be, but when you arrive in front of the pile of shit simply inform them that "You are obviously poor as shit.  Seriously, go die.  Right now.  No one will miss you."  After that fucking steal his beer he will have with him and all his change.  What is he/she going to do?  Jack shit that's what because they know you are better than them. 

Another strategy is to flash them some money.  A single dollar bill equates to 1.2 Billion dollars on the worthless homeless people monetary scale.  After you do shove it back in your pocket and spit in their face.  This will add insult to injury, but fuck it, you have money and they don't. That is a win in my book.

Other methods of dealing with the homeless are but not confined to: hitting them with your car, taking a dump on their face while they are sleeping out front of the local IGA, and making your dog "sick" them.  It is all gold and if done enough times, you will start to see the numbers of homeless in your particular city dwindle.  Homeless people suck and you should, when the time suits your needs, remind them of this fact.